You Know You are a Lutheran when...
...you only serve Jell-O in the proper liturgical color for the season.
...when someone mentions red and green (in terms of Christmas), you immediately think of a battle over hymnals.
...during the entire service you hold your hymnal open but never look down at it.
...during communion you hum the hymns so you can see who's at church that Sunday.
...rather than introducing yourself to a visitor at church, you check their name out in the guestbook.
...you think Garrison Keillor's stories are totally factual.
...you have your wedding reception in the fellowship hall and feel guilty about not staying to help clean up.
....you make spaghetti at your house with the little macaroni noodles because they're not so messy then.
...you don't know what was sooo funny about dat movie "Fargo" then.
...you think a meeting isn't legitimate unless it's at least three hours long.
...you make change in the offering plate for a ten.
...the church is on fire, and you rush in to save the coffee pot.
...you have more than five flavors of Jell-O in your pantry.
...Ole and Lena are really the names of your relatives.
...you know what a Lutheran Church Basement Woman is.
...your five-year-old recites the Old Testament books as Genesis, Exodus, Lutefisk...
...you think anyone who says "casserole" instead of "hotdish" is trying to be uppity (or maybe even Episcopalian!)
...when you were little you actually thought the Reverend's first name was "Pastor."
...they have to rope off the last pews in church so the front isn't empty.
...you're watching "Star Wars" in the theatre and when they say, "May the force be with you,"
you reply "and also with you."
...you tap a church visitor on the shoulder and say, "excuse me, but you're in my seat."
...you doodle on the back of communion cards.
...you can say the meal prayer all in one breath.
...Bach is your favorite composer just because he was Lutheran, too.
...you hesitate to clap for the church choir or special music because
"it just wasn't done that way in the old days."
...it's time to change a lightbulb and the left side of the aisle begins a debate on "change,"
while the right side of the aisle musters five volunteers--one to hold the bulb, and four to turn the ladder.
...you know all the words to the first verse of "Silent Night" in German but can't speak a word of it.
...you carry silverware in your pocket to church just in case there's a potluck.
...you have an uncontollable urge to sit in the back of any room.
...your house is a mess because you're "saved by Grace," not by works.
...you think the communion wafers are too spicy.
...your mother reminds you often that she wishes you'd studied the organ.
... you dress up as your favorite reformer for Halloween.
...your mother could give any Jewish mother a run for the money in the guilt department.
...you think lime Jell-O with cottage cheese and pineapple is a gourmet salad.
...you hold your family reunion in the church basement.
...sharing the peace during the service takes more time than the sermon.
...your idea of an affirmation is "This is most certainly true."
...you and your family of six squeeze into the last pew along with the 140 members already sitting there.
...you're 57 years old and your parents still won't let you date a Catholic.
...all your relatives graduated from a school named Concordia or Augustana.
...you think that an ELCA Lutheran bride and an LCMS groom make for a "mixed marriage."
AND with that, watch the next funny video from the TV Show "Cheers" and enjoy!
(Thanks to OldLutheran.com)
...when someone mentions red and green (in terms of Christmas), you immediately think of a battle over hymnals.
...during the entire service you hold your hymnal open but never look down at it.
...during communion you hum the hymns so you can see who's at church that Sunday.
...rather than introducing yourself to a visitor at church, you check their name out in the guestbook.
...you think Garrison Keillor's stories are totally factual.
...you have your wedding reception in the fellowship hall and feel guilty about not staying to help clean up.
....you make spaghetti at your house with the little macaroni noodles because they're not so messy then.
...you don't know what was sooo funny about dat movie "Fargo" then.
...you think a meeting isn't legitimate unless it's at least three hours long.
...you make change in the offering plate for a ten.
...the church is on fire, and you rush in to save the coffee pot.
...you have more than five flavors of Jell-O in your pantry.
...Ole and Lena are really the names of your relatives.
...you know what a Lutheran Church Basement Woman is.
...your five-year-old recites the Old Testament books as Genesis, Exodus, Lutefisk...
...you think anyone who says "casserole" instead of "hotdish" is trying to be uppity (or maybe even Episcopalian!)
...when you were little you actually thought the Reverend's first name was "Pastor."
...they have to rope off the last pews in church so the front isn't empty.
...you're watching "Star Wars" in the theatre and when they say, "May the force be with you,"
you reply "and also with you."
...you tap a church visitor on the shoulder and say, "excuse me, but you're in my seat."
...you doodle on the back of communion cards.
...you can say the meal prayer all in one breath.
...Bach is your favorite composer just because he was Lutheran, too.
...you hesitate to clap for the church choir or special music because
"it just wasn't done that way in the old days."
...it's time to change a lightbulb and the left side of the aisle begins a debate on "change,"
while the right side of the aisle musters five volunteers--one to hold the bulb, and four to turn the ladder.
...you know all the words to the first verse of "Silent Night" in German but can't speak a word of it.
...you carry silverware in your pocket to church just in case there's a potluck.
...you have an uncontollable urge to sit in the back of any room.
...your house is a mess because you're "saved by Grace," not by works.
...you think the communion wafers are too spicy.
...your mother reminds you often that she wishes you'd studied the organ.
... you dress up as your favorite reformer for Halloween.
...your mother could give any Jewish mother a run for the money in the guilt department.
...you think lime Jell-O with cottage cheese and pineapple is a gourmet salad.
...you hold your family reunion in the church basement.
...sharing the peace during the service takes more time than the sermon.
...your idea of an affirmation is "This is most certainly true."
...you and your family of six squeeze into the last pew along with the 140 members already sitting there.
...you're 57 years old and your parents still won't let you date a Catholic.
...all your relatives graduated from a school named Concordia or Augustana.
...you think that an ELCA Lutheran bride and an LCMS groom make for a "mixed marriage."
AND with that, watch the next funny video from the TV Show "Cheers" and enjoy!
(Thanks to OldLutheran.com)